Dear Leader,

It’s ok to be human. It’s ok to not have all the answers. It’s ok to not know what to do next. It’s ok to not be 100% confident in the decision you are about to make. It’s ok to make the wrong decision.

I know it’s hard, being in the position where you are in charge. I know it’s hard to have projects to deliver and deadlines to meet, and things to be accountable for, and bosses (or shareholders) to be accountable to.

I know the pressure sometimes feels like it’s a 10-ton piece of rock, threatening to crush you, to squeeze all the air out of your lungs.

Just take a moment to breathe.

Right now, in this moment, take a deep breath. Settle into your seat, and remember…

Remember who you truly are, deep underneath all the action-oriented façade, deep underneath all the accomplishments you’ve achieved so far. Remember the human being that lies beneath all of it.

And remember that you are not alone.

Did you forget? Being a leader doesn’t mean you are in charge. Being a leader means you are responsible for those in your charge.

It begins with trust

Trust in your team.

Trust in their knowledge, in their abilities. Trust that they’re doing the best they can. Trust that, just like you, they can figure it out.

If you openly give them your trust, if you show them that you’re confident in their ability to do their job, they will give you their all.

You don’t have to do it all alone. That’s why someone, somewhere, at some time, gave you a team. Not so you could accomplish more, alone, but so your team could accomplish greater things, together.

If you wait for your team to trust you as their leader, you will wait a long time, my friend.

It is your job to take the first step. It is your job to show them that you trust them to do the work. It is your job to support them in whatever way they need so that they can not only do the work, but so they feel safe doing it. So that they feel safe taking risks. So that they feel free and confident to grow, and learn.

So that they feel free to leave if that is the direction that their journey takes them on.

And if they do, after you’ve given them all of these things, not only will they leave your team in a better place than it was when they first joined it, they will take you with them wherever they go.

You see, it’s not the accomplishments they will remember. It’s not the number and size of the project they delivered that they will think back on. It will be who you are as their leader, and whether they enjoyed working with you and your team.

Remind them that you are all in this together.

What if they make mistakes?

It will inevitably happen. You’re kidding yourself if you think it won’t. So, what will you do?

Will you scold them and make them feel like an incompetent fool? Will you fire them?

If you encourage your team to take risks, you must expect them to sometimes have those result in missteps. What will happen then? Will the world crumble into rubble? Are babies going to die?

No, unless you’re a pediatric surgeon, no babies are going to die.

If you approach your team’s mistakes with compassion and understanding, in the same way that you approach a child who’s just fallen off their bike while learning to cycle on their own, you have an opportunity to increase that level of trust and cohesion.

If your team feels safe to make mistakes, they will work harder for you, and give you everything you need to succeed in your own role.

What if I make a mistake?

Go back and read the very first sentence in this article. You. Are. Human. It is human to err, is it not?

Again, what will happen if you are the one who makes a mistake? Will you get fired? Maybe.

If you have a leader of your own who doesn’t support mistakes, rather than thinking that there’s something wrong with you for being imperfect, I suggest you are working for the wrong leader.

The best thing to do, where your team is concerned, is to own up to your mistakes when you make them. Again, seeing you as a real human being who makes mistakes just like they do, will free them to be human too.

At the very least, it will reduce their levels of stress and anxiety about always needing to be perfect in their own work.

After all, there’s really no such thing as mistakes, only trial and error. It’s all just a series of experiments where you can learn from things that don’t work so you can improve on them and come up with even better ways of doing things.

It all depends on you

As a leader, you set the tone. Sure, you want your team to perform at the highest levels. Give them what they need, and they will.

Show them you support them by demonstrating that it’s ok to be human, to make mistakes, to be tired, to be distracted when something happens in their own personal life.

But it’s not enough to just say that you support them, you have to walk your talk.

You can’t tell them that they should go home at 5pm when you continue to send e-mails well past 9pm.

You can’t tell them that it’s ok to take a day off because they’re tired and overworked when you don’t do that yourself.

You can’t encourage them to do fun activities together like themed potluck lunches and then sit in your office and work through your lunch break.

If you want your team to trust you, you have to walk your talk.

Are you a human who is a leader? Are you a leader who is human?

It seems simple, but I know it’s hard to put into action. Not everyone is cut out to be a leader. It takes a lot of courage. So if you are a leader, I commend you.

What has your experience been like? What are some of the challenges you’ve encountered?

And if you’re not a leader, what has your experience of leadership been like? Have you worked for a fantastic leader? What made them so?

Let me know in the comments, or shoot me off an e-mail. I’m genuinely curious about what makes great leaders great, not just in books and research, but in real life settings.

Until next time my friends,

Mel