Hello Inspiration. Hello Creativity.

I’ve missed you. I didn’t know, I hadn’t realized, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could see you as something that was separate from me. But I like interacting with you like this.

I can feel that you’ve just been hanging out with me this whole time, waiting for me to recognize you, to realize that “oh! THAT’s Inspiration! Oh, THAT’s creativity!” as if you were just someone I walked by every day, not realizing you’re the neighbour, until just now. 

But I see you now. I know it’s you. I know who you are.

Now that I see you, now that I know who you are, I’m happy to be reunited with you. I feel comforted, and relieved to be in your presence. I hear you saying “So Mel, let’s do something super cool. Let’s make something super fun!”

Inspiration feels like… it feels like waking up. Like I’ve been sleeping for the last little while (or rather, not taking my own advice and just walking around like a zombie), aimlessly going about my days. I’ve tried to wake myself up. I’ve tried to generate inspiration on my own… I’ve tried to force Creativity to make me do something, but Creativity doesn’t like doing stuff without Inspiration. And I don’t think Inspiration appreciates my forcefulness with Creativity.

My only beef with the two of you, is that you always whack me upside the head at the WORST possible times! You show up poking and prodding me saying “wanna play? Come on!” when I’m in the shower, or when I’m driving, or when I’m supposed to be working at my “other” job, or when I’m trying to be a mom. Can’t you come see me during my lunch hour? Can you pop by at the end of the day, when all the other shit that I have to do is taken care of, and I have, like 30 minutes to myself (but only if I don’t do the dishes)? Unfortunately, even if you did come poke me at that time, chances are I’m too tired to even see that you’re there.

Creativity, Inspiration, I love you both, but seriously, you suck sometimes.

And you just stand there, saying nothing, with huge smiles on your faces, trying not to break out in the biggest fit of giggles ever. And you say to me “we know! Isn’t it just so much more fun this way!?”

So I sigh. Yeah yeah, I get it. You guys do that so I don’t become complacent. So I don’t get used to the dull boring life that I naturally lean towards. You make sure I don’t “fall asleep” on my own life. I get it.

The problem with that is that Inspiration does all the shouting, but then Creativity and I don’t get to spend time together making cool stuff!

“So make the time!”, they say. Ugh. You’re right. I hate you.

Is there anybody out there, who’s a single parent that has figured out how to allow time to do the full-time job thing, and the dealing with adulting thing, and being a full-time parent of young kid(s), AND allowing for DAILY time to hang out with Inspiration and Creativity?? All while making sure you get enough sleep? Seriously, if you’ve figured it out, I’ve love to hear about it.

The thing about Inspiration and Creativity is, I LOVE hanging out with them. They’re, like, my two most favourite “people” ever. There’s just nothing like feeling inspired and then creating something out of that inspiration. If I could spend every day with them, even just a couple of hours… and I will. I know I will. One day, probably sooner than I can imagine, that will be my reality. Because I’ve chosen it. Because I’ve decided that this is where I’m headed.

But in the meantime, WTF! I wanna play!!

You know what guys? You know how I’ve been writing about how feeling good is a choice that we make and that I’ve become intolerant to feeling anything but good, I think I’ve also become intolerant of spending too much time away from my friends Creativity and Inspiration. Now that I’ve gotten used to spending time with them, they’ve also become parts of me that I can’t live without.

They have become a part of the soup that is my Happiness.

Just hang on, you two. It’s almost the weekend. And I’m going to take lots of time to hang out with you. Peace and Knowledge can come too. We’ll have a party.