Again, here are the leading questions that were attached to today’s challenge. By the way, I highly recommend taking this writing challenge yourself. It’s been a truly amazing experience so far!
Think about something you’ve done and accomplished. It could be this year or 30 years ago. Ideally pick one of your most proud accomplishments to date. What is it? Who were you with? What were you doing? What actions caused you to experience the success you did? How did it feel? Did it positively impact anyone else?
—————————————–
Another tough writing assignment – which really end up generating the best posts. I’ve always enjoyed being “forced” to dig into my own head and follow the journey down the rabbit hole. I find that the more self-aware you are, the better equipped you are to face life’s challenges. You end up spending less time trying to figure out why you feel a certain way when faced with something difficult. When you know more about who you are, what you like and what you dislike, it’s easier to make decisions. As Scott Dinsmore often said “If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’ll never find it”.
I was discussing this particular challenge with a friend of mine last night. And the first thing that came to mind, was my daughter. I know, it’s so cliché to say that because every parent is proud of not just having had the child (and that the child has grown up to be a normal, essentially good human being), but having survived those first few trying years of learning to be a parent. So in order to avoid taking the easy cliché route, I dug deeper.
The next thing that came to mind was this blog, and applying to go to graduate school. Although neither of them are completed because I only just took the first few steps – indeed, learning never ceases to happen, and there will always be something to write about – I am proud because both of these actions have been a long time coming for me.
Writing
As I mentioned in my Day 1 Challenge, writing has always been a part of me. From my diary in 7th grade, to writing short stories as a teenager. It has always been the easiest way to express myself; it was my own art form. I could never draw very well, but I can paint a really good picture with words. Even before getting my diary, for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been surrounded by books and stories. My earliest, vaguest memory, is that of my mother sitting by my side at the hospital (I must have been 2 or 3 years old) telling me stories that she would dream up on the spot to keep me occupied (and well behaved). I had been very sick for a long time and my legs wouldn’t support me anymore so my parents took me to the hospital, which was 3 hours away from our home. I didn’t mind being there though. I loved the jello and popsicles, and the special treatment I was getting from everyone. And I loved listening to my mother’s stories. Whenever she sits with my daughter before bedtime, and invents a story for her, I lean in the doorway to listen and it takes me back to my own childhood. Stories are truly magical. So of course, with that forming the basis of my being, my imagination naturally became the one place I could escape to, when growing up was difficult or confusing. I could always be found sitting in a corner somewhere with my nose in a book. I loved adventures with magic of all kinds, science fiction novels with cool concepts or if I was feeling particularly distraught, an Archie comic book because I didn’t want to feel sad or scared anymore, and Archie’s always made me laugh.
So although in hindsight, starting a blog is kind of a no-brainer for me, I am proud of myself for finally taking the step towards allowing myself to write again, and for finding the perfect mechanism for me to do so.
Graduate School
Going back to school was something I always wanted to do. In fact, I never meant to NOT be in school for so long. The year that I finished my undergraduate studies was difficult for me. I had to finish my studies at a different university than I had started because the school wasn’t able to attract the professors who could teach the courses that I wanted to take for my final year. I truly loved being a student at Laurentian University (in Sudbury, Ontario – Canada). The gorgeous campus is set literally in the middle of the forest, away from the city, and you could take long walks on trails that led all around the woods. I lived on campus and found that constantly being surrounded by nature was the perfect setting to keep me grounded. Because it’s a small university, my class sizes were small (in some of my classes, we were 15 to 20 students) and so we could have these incredibly rich discussions with our professors and fellow students. Of course, there was also the crazy side of being a university student, with plenty of parties, drinking and bars, and that was fun too. It’s all about balance, don’t you know. 😉 I learned a lot about who I was, and who I wanted to be. A tumultuous few years, but also one of the best experiences of my life.
So when I was forced to return home to attend the large, urban, concrete jungle of a university that was in my city, you can imagine the shock I experienced. Not only that, but I was a new student all over again, learning to navigate the campus, and trying to understand how things worked on the academic side; but I was treated like a 3rd year student. Professors and Administrative personnel expected me to understand the rules and various mechanisms of the school. I got no pity, and no help. I was lost – physically and mentally – and so I barely scraped by my classes enough to graduate. I’m sharing all of this because although I had a desire to continue my studies, I was so angry with my school and my experience that I decided to just take my degree and leave the academic world for a while. But as I began working a government admin job, it wasn’t long before my thirst for knowledge gnawed at me once more. I just didn’t know WHAT I wanted to specialize in, nor HOW I was going to do it. I wasn’t about to go back to my hometown university again, but I didn’t know the first thing about starting to look for and evaluate graduate programs at other universities across the country.
Months became years, and years became a decade.
Next thing I knew, I was engaged to my long term partner, I owned a house, and I had a baby and a dog. “How am I supposed to go back to school now?” I asked myself. My partner only made half my salary so there was no way he could financially support me while I focused on my career. I thought for sure I’d have to wait until my daughter was off to university before I could even entertain the thought of pursuing my own career interests.
But the desire only grew stronger, and soon, a voice inside me started saying “Just wait. The opportunity is coming”
So here I am, about to re-start the journey to a career that I’m truly passionate about. I don’t really know where it will lead me; and I don’t know how I’m going to pay for my studies, but I don’t care. The amount of excitement I feel in indescribable, and that tells me I’m on the right path. I don’t need to know the details. I know they will present themselves to me at the right time. All I need to do is keep taking one step at a time.
The hardest step was the first one. And I’m proud of myself for having had the courage to take it.
Just read this latest post. I must say, you weren’t kidding when you said you would make it yours. You really do have a genuine voice Mel. You have a knack for sharing your trials and tribulations and showing how you’ve been able to learn from them rather than let them get you down as these moments have changed from woes to wisdom. I can even see it when comparing it to your older notes on Facebook. You’ve grown. Your voice was just as genuine then, but you’ve changed. What’s really cool about all this is that your progression in words is so much more meaningful than most other people’s timelines which mainly contain pictures. Makes me realize photos don’t say nearly as much. We pose for them. We often share the ones that contain our best and brightest moments. They often contain a false sense of who a person really is. They only share part of the story. But you are sharing your story so well. Keep up the good work!