Is there really such a thing as The One? Your dream job that is.
I was talking to a friend of mine who graduated university just under 2 years ago. He’s an engineer and he’s been looking for work in his field of study.
He’s looking for his dream job.
After all, isn’t that why we study so hard when we’re in school? Isn’t that what the “investment” is for? So that we get out and find our dream job, make a career out of it and retire 35 years later with a hefty pension?
Just for fun, I went back to the statistics. One place suggested that, in Canada, more than half of people stay in the same job for just under 2 years before moving on to something else, and that only 30% stay in any one job for over 4 years. They said that “job hopping” is the new normal.
Of course, there are generational differences to that, where older generations tend to spend more time in a job than the younger generations, but in general, they say we can expect to hold an average of 15 jobs during our career, and even change career paths, at least 2 or 3 times.
I relayed my conversation to another friend of mine who, like me, has been in the working world for more than 15 years. We both had a good chuckle.
Finding your dream job right off the bat, right out of university? Ha! Good luck.
But it had me wonder: are we that jaded already? Is my young friend really asking for too much?
It made me think back to my own career progression.
As you may or may not know, I started my career as an administrative assistant. It wasn’t something I really wanted to do. In fact, it was miles away from what I was passionate about. But I was damn good at it, and I was proud of myself for it. I was hyper organized, fast, and efficient. I learned quickly and I was meticulous with my work. I was an administrative machine.
So why shouldn’t I have pursued the next step of my career in that direction?
It would’ve been easy. My boss would have taken me up the ladder as he climbed his own. The steps were clear to see, my career progression was set.
And yet… when he got a promotion and asked me to come with him, I said no.
I was proud of what I could do, and I adored my boss, but I wanted more.
More? How could that be?
I mean, it’s not like Marine Policy was a dream industry for me to work in, but I still had most of the components necessary to love my job: I was great at it, I had an amazing boss who was a visionary leader before leadership (as opposed to management) was a thing, and my teammates were fantastic. Everyone was respectful and we constantly laughed and had a good time together.
All the components were there, and I did love my job.
I even convinced myself that my work was meaningful because I was supporting my co-workers in a way that helped them be the best at their own jobs because I was taking care of all the details.
And yet… it wasn’t enough. Was something wrong with me?
I remember pondering that question often back then. I question myself even now sometimes.
Should I have followed the steps that were laid out before me? Wouldn’t my life, my career, have been so much easier if I had? I’d still be working for my boss who is now the equivalent of a VP in his organization. He’d have been mentoring me for 15 years and I would have increased my own levels of responsibility and my salary with every ladder rung I climbed along with him.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
It pained me to think about it. I LOVED my boss (in as platonic a way as an admin can, without setting off the office gossip). And yet, I couldn’t follow him.
So what do I tell my young engineer friend?
Do I advise him to just take any job he finds as long as he’s good at it? Should he look for whatever work he can find as long as it pays? Will he find the work he loves as a car salesman, a sales rep at a clothing store? At what point does he stop saying no to working opportunities that aren’t what he’s looking for, and yes to things that are even remotely close to what he wants?
When in doubt, I go back to my curiosity
Do I love my work now? Not quite, but surprisingly, it’s not a complete NO either.
I do know that I’m on the right path however. How do I know that? I find ways to follow my curiosity. I have interesting conversations with new people whenever I can spare the time, and I try to be as helpful as I can with the skills I do have that I’ve gained over the years.
Have I always felt like I was doing work I was passionate about? Not by a long shot.
But I can look back and consider the components of the jobs I did have that I loved, versus those that weren’t great or downright sucked.
What are the components of a great job?
For me, that includes a leader that I highly respect and who really cares about his or her staff.
It means I’m on a team where there’s no competition, where each person has a different set of skills that are valued and they all complement each other.
It’s a place where I’m encouraged to contribute, to voice my opinions, and given an opportunity to learn from my mistakes rather than being shamed or belittled for making them.
Some of my favourite moments were ones where I was able to be part of high level conversations and bring a perspective or ask a question that no one had considered before.
And if I’m honest with myself, the best jobs I’ve had were in areas that I was really interested in, where I found myself thinking about some work-related challenge at night and on the weekends, just mulling over a problem in my spare time.
Not because I had to but because I cared. I wanted us to succeed.
But here’s the thing: in terms of things I’m interested in, in terms of “industries”, it could be just about anything. At the core of what I’m passionate about, it’s people.
Picking your next career move
A client of mine was looking for some guidance on what his next move should be. Also at the early stages of his career, he has nothing but opportunities in front of him. How does he choose? Here’s what I told him:
Make a list of EVERYTHING you’re even remotely interested in. Where does your curiosity lie?
Make it a brain dump. Don’t worry about making sense of it or whether it’s practical. Just put it all on a page. Give yourself permission to completely allow your curiosity to shine and have fun with it.
Dig deeper into some of the broader ideas too. Don’t just say “Psychology”. Ask yourself what is it about this topic that you like so much?
Then, when your hand won’t write anymore, put the pen down, take a deep breath, and take a broad look at what you’ve just created.
Next, look for patterns.
See if you can group some things together in a general, broad theme.
Here’s my list: I like positive psychology. I like the tools that positive psychology gives us, how practical they are. I like learning about behaviour, motivation, happiness, meditation, emotional regulation, stress-management, relationships and human connection, leadership, leadership development, influence, mentorship, personal development, self-knowledge, self-understanding and compassion.
Seeing a pattern yet?
With a list like this, sure I have a lot of things I’m interested in, but it also gives me a broad, general direction of where to head.
And the great thing is, it’s not restrictive to a specific type of job I should do. It allows me to keep my options open and look for ways to incorporate these topics into the work I do choose.
As for which job to take next, there’s no magical solution.
Trust your intuition and take the job that you feel best about. You’ll only find out if it’s a great job once you’re in it. And if it isn’t, give yourself permission to learn new skills along the way to finding your next great job.
After all, my young engineering friend, you’ll have 14 more after that one.