You know, I’ve had an article on my computer for over a month. I had a great topic, and I did research, and I was going to bring in all these really great pieces and it was going to all fit together perfectly. And on top of that, I told myself I would treat myself like a serious writer. I was going to start giving myself deadlines and make myself keep them. Because serious writers have deadlines, and apparently, that makes them perform better.
Well, here’s what happened when I put too much pressure on myself, trying to write a perfect article:
I caved. All stop. Nothing came out.
I sat at my computer for 5 minutes, let myself get distracted by e-mail or Facebook, and 2 hours later, I would close it down again. A few days later, same thing. A week later, same thing. I would look at that file on my desktop, and beat myself up for not writing it, for not even opening it up anymore. I would kid myself by telling myself I’m still gathering information, that I needed to do just a little more research and THEN I could get writing. Before I knew it, I’ve let over a month go by without an article written or posted.
And so I have to admit it. I’m stuck. Writer’s block before I even started.
This is something that’s happened to me many times in the last year. I’d get something started, gain some momentum, convince myself I’ve got it, start putting pressure on myself to produce, to deliver, to create, to do whatever it is I’ve been focused on, and because of that, I would slowly start losing traction, and eventually end up stuck.
Shit. I’m in that sticky, stinky, shitty muck again.
But you know what? I’m gettin’ pretty good at taking less and less time to realize that I’m stuck. And I’m also getting better at not kicking myself for it.
So do you want to know how to get unstuck? Well, to know that, you have to understand WHY you got stuck in the first place. So here it is:
When we start working on something new, be it a new nutritional lifestyle, a new exercise regime, or a new writing habit, we see some positive results and we get encouraged by that. We get confident. But we also get too eager. We forget that results take time. We try to do too much, too quickly, and we forget to build on the basics.
We try to skip the building part and try to get to the end result too quickly. It’s like building a skyscraper on some shady foundation and skipping the first 50 floors. Or like a baby trying to run before he’s gotten solid on his legs and really gotten the whole walking thing down. He’s going to fall flat on his face.
So when you find yourself stuck, stop, take a breath, walk away if you have to, and go back to the basics. This doesn’t mean you have to start at the beginning or start all over again. It just means you’ve been forgetting your basic training. So for me, that means getting back to my regular formal mindfulness practice. It means making sure I’m getting consistent full nights of sleep and drinking plenty of water. It means making sure I give myself some time to breathe, and think, and write. Not write articles, just let my fingers fly on the keyboard and let the words come out on their own. Sometimes it’s content for this blog, sometimes it’s journaling, sometimes it’s prose and stories.
I gave this advice to many friends and colleagues before, when they’ve told me they were feeling stuck. And if you’re feeling stuck, try it. Take a deep breath, and take a step back. And if that step doesn’t feel far back enough, take another one. Until you’ve found the most basic thing you can do to find your bearing again.
And then slowly, start taking a step forward, and see how stable it feels. If it still feels wobbly, go back. If it feels ok, stay there for a bit until you feel strong. Then, slowly take another step forward.
See, the great thing about getting stuck, is that you started somewhere; which means you already have a path to follow. So when you start over, you know exactly what to do. You know which steps to take that’ll get you where you want to go. And when you get close to the point where you are now, you know what to watch out for, so you know what to avoid.
That’s how you learn. That’s how you get better.
I don’t call getting stuck a failure. I call it… breaking the scar tissue and making the muscle stronger.
This may not be my strongest article ever, but it speaks of my experience, and no amount of research will help me really learn anything. It’s the clarity of my experience that brings the best knowledge.
And, it got me writing again. And I’m happiest when I’m writing.