I was sitting on a team meeting last week, and we were asked some questions to reflect on, and speak to, as we look forward towards a potential return to work. They all revolved around this:

What have you learned during this time?

There were actually a few iterations of it. Some had to do with practices we learned that we might want to keep. Some had to do with things we realized we might want to change as we move forward. And some had to do with what we learned about ourselves and others.

Those of you who know me know how much I love a good reflection question. Here are some of the things I’ve learned in these last 3+ months of working from home, homeschooling my kid, and staying home 90% of the time.  

I learned to rest

I learned that when all this started, I was WAY more tired than I thought I was.

I learned that when I allow my body to get the rest it needs, eventually, it falls into a natural rhythm.

I learned that my being tired wasn’t just physical… So many days, I just didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with anything more than getting dressed. And even that felt like effort sometimes. I needed to rest my mind too.

I learned to give myself a break, and be kind to myself on days when the productivity just didn’t come, no matter how hard I tried.

I learned that even though I’d like to think I’m Super (Mom / Career Lady / Cook / Maid / Daughter / Sister / Friend), I can be those things one at a time… but not all at once.

I learned that even though I’d like to think otherwise, I can’t do it all alone; I need people too. (That one’s still hard to admit, and process.)

I learned that I learned those last two things from my mom, who has taken on 10x more than an almost-70-yr old should be taking on. I worry about her, but I’m also learning to let other people have their own journey, to love them unconditionally, and to offer my help when and how I can, while still honouring myself.

I learned that not everything needs to be done, right this minute. There’s usually a whole other day tomorrow, just waiting for me to fill it with things to do.

I learned to listen to my body

I learned that when I don’t move enough, and still eat like I used to, I gain weight… and I’ve been pretty much the same weight my whole adult life; pregnancies notwithstanding.

I learned that moving around inside the house is NOT enough movement for one day. Even going up and down the stairs.

I learned that I can be utterly exhausted even when I don’t move around very much.

I learned that I can be utterly exhausted when I DO move around a lot during the day… especially when I haven’t been doing so in weeks.

I learned that when I drink lots of water, and let my body tell me when it’s hungry, I eat just the right amount of food.

I learned that I really like spending time on my treadmill, especially with those cool “pretend you’re outside on a trail” videos on YouTube (I even dodge oncoming runners on the screen, and almost fall off the treadmill… like, every time).

I learned that I feel amazing after I’ve spent time deliberately exercising (I used to pride myself on knowing I never needed to exercise “on purpose”; I preferred sports or parking far away from where I was going, and taking strolls in nature – even better if it was with a friend).

I learned things about people too

I learned that I wasn’t the only one going through a roller-coaster of emotions.

I learned that a whole bunch of people were going through their own personal hell at the same time as I was.

I learned that what others were going through wasn’t worse or better than what I was living; we all experienced what we needed to.

I learned that even as I was going through a rough time, I could find energy in being there for people that I care about; and I felt better afterwards.

I learned that people are capable of kindness, patience, and compassion… they just allowed the busyness of life to let them forget it. But when you offer these things to them first, they remember they can do it too.

I learned that people can do some REALLY creative stuff when they’re bored and are forced to stay home. (I mean, have you seen the guy who raps Dr. Seuss books??)

I learned that not everyone is as ready to give themselves permission to do all these things… and that’s ok.

But the biggest lessons for me…

I learned that once I truly gave myself permission to rest and fully recharge – which was way longer than I thought I should’ve needed – I can be really creative. And I can also shoulder some of the burden of those I care about when they feel like they need to tap out for a while (apparently, putting your own oxygen mask on first really does help).

I learned that when I take time to get curious and ask gentle questions to dig under the surface of my daughter’s meltdowns, we can have really meaningful conversations about important topics like mental health, emotional regulation, online bullying, and how people relate to each other.

We may be looking a not just weeks, but months of “more”. More staying home and restricting what we do and who we see. More waiting for things to open up. More uncertainty. But I’m grateful for what I’ve learned so far. I honestly don’t know that I would’ve been able to learn these things hadn’t I been forced to stay home, be quiet, and pay attention.

What about you? What have you learned during these strange times?