There’s nothing like a great tragedy, to wake you up and make you realize that you need to make changes or renew a past commitment that you’ve been leaving unattended for a little while.

There was a death in my family. Well, not someone related to me, but someone I love lost their significant other quite unexpectedly. In helping and supporting her, I couldn’t help but to think about just how short life could be. 

Life truly is short.

I know it’s a cliché that we see everywhere, but when you hear about someone in their mid-40s who seemed completely healthy, and then suddenly you get a phone call in the middle of the night saying he’s gone… you realize just how true it really is.

What if all you have is today?

Could I leave this world tomorrow knowing I lived a good life? If not, what would I change?

If there’s one thing I learned through this event, it’s to really try to appreciate the things and people around me that make me happy. No matter how much of a struggle the morning or evening routine is with my daughter, I always try to end my last moments with her with a kiss, a cuddle and an “I love you”.

Because life is too short to let my last moment with my daughter be about me focusing on how late for work she made me. I’m not saying I go around every day morbidly thinking each moment may be my last, but you know… you just never know.

Being present is all you’ve got

I’ve got all these things I’m working on – myself, this blog, my day job, my side hustles, my learning, my household and family responsibilities, my Live Your Legend community – and finding that balance between always working on something and making the most of each moment, isn’t easy. But I keep working at it; because it doesn’t just make my life better, it makes me a better person to interact with.

It means I try to be present within each conversation with a colleague, so that they have 100% of me while they need me. And by being fully present with the people I’m interacting with, first of all it shows. Have you ever had a conversation with someone you know is distracted by something? You can tell. So can they, and they appreciate you giving them your full attention.

Being fully present also strengthens your relationships because now people believe they matter.  And when people feel like they matter, they naturally want to give you more of themselves, they feel more confident opening up and sharing their thoughts and ideas.

It’s probably hardest to be present with family members. I don’t know why but we tend to be harshest with our loved ones. We give other people a break but we don’t let our loved ones get away with anything. So I work on this the hardest. I know I don’t necessarily get everything right all the time, so why would I expect those I love to be perfect all the time? And yet, if today is all we have, they are the ones who will be impacted the most. So how about letting go and NOT criticizing your partner for leaving the bathroom light on just this once?

My favorite quote, and I don’t know who it’s from, says “To live in hearts you leave behind is not to die.” I’ve carried that message with me since as long as I can remember. I suppose you could say it’s a bit of a personal mantra. To me, it means that I am here to serve people. I want to be remembered not by what I’ve done, or what I’ve accumulated. I want to be remembered by how I made people feel. I am here to support people in however way they need. I am here to listen, to show compassion, to guide.

I am here to make happy. No that wasn’t a typo.

I can’t make people happy, no one can. It’s an impossible job that is doomed to fail. But I can be the sunshine in people’s lives, in the same way that my daughter is when she remembers who she really is. I can support, and encourage, and mentor, and inspire.

And so, if all I have is today, then I know that the sunshine I’ve brought will be what I leave behind.

What about you? If all you had was today, what would you do? What would you change?