I’ve been noticing something as I’ve been talking to different people about making a significant change in their lives. At some point, as we’re talking away, and they’re telling me their life story, or generally how they got to where they are now, I end up asking “Have you been journaling?” and the typical reaction I get is *blink blink* “uh… no?”

I’ve been journaling for so long that it has become an integral part of myself, of how I live my life. It hadn’t occurred to me that it’s not something other people typically do.

Why I write in a journal

I came to journaling quite naturally. A received a diary when I was in 6th grade for Christmas; it had a pretty padded cover with pastel flowers, the pages had a pretty scent, and it had the compulsory lock on it. I just took to it right away. I mean, what 6th grade girl doesn’t have a bunch of things to talk about?

You see, I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. I was a bit of a non-conformist and that made me an undesirable friend. Who wants to be friends with someone who refuses to just do what everybody else does and instead keeps asking “Why”? So instead of having a BFF to talk to about every single little thing I was thinking and feeling, I had my diary.

“Dear Diary, don’t tell anybody I said this but I have a huge crush on Kevin.”

I’ve actually kept most of my diaries/journals. I tried to keep them all in one place so I could go back and read them, or give them to my daughter one day. Yup, I actually remember thinking I wanted my daughter to read these one day, so she would know what her mom was like at her age.

It wasn’t until recently, when I was talking about journaling with someone, that I realized I never really went back and read them myself.

Why keep a journal if you’re not going to go back and read it?

And that person asked me an even more important question: Why journal?

What do you get out of it?

I love it when people ask me questions that make me think. So I did just that; thinking about what it was about journaling that was so important to me.

I know for sure that journaling is what got me through my teenage years. Like so many, I went through a really rough time in a few spots, dipping in and out of depression. And somehow, I made it out, all on my own, on more than one occasion.

So what was so special about me? What did I do differently that led to me bouncing back, while others tried to take their own life?

I wrote.

Whenever something bothered me, writing it out always either (1) brought me relief for just letting my emotions get out somehow and/or (2) helped me make sense of things.

Journaling gives you a chance to get to know yourself

Because I was writing, I was spending a lot of time thinking about my thoughts and emotions. This helped me to pinpoint and name my emotions – something incredibly important when you’re growing up.

You need to be able to know what it is you’re feeling.

Is it frustration? Is it anger? Is it sadness? disappointment? Is it a combination of all of these? And where is it coming from? Why am I sad? Is it because I didn’t get chosen to be on the volleyball team? Or is it because it makes me feel like I’m worthless?

The act of journaling creates space for introspection. It’s not just about understanding your emotions, it also leads to a deep understanding about yourself; about how you react in certain situations; how you process information; what you like, and what you don’t like.

Taking time to write down your thoughts helps you become aware of what’s going on in your head.

I’ve met a few people who have gone through a burnout and they said they never saw it coming. A lot of people are just so accustomed to go, go, go, no matter what. They disregard the physical pain, and keep going. They disregard the mental pain, and force themselves to keep going. Eventually, your body gives out.

But when you’re journaling regularly, you’re constantly aware of what’s going on within you. You’re aware of the stresses you’re going through. The frustrations, and the joys too.

Journaling also helps you notice patterns

When my friend asked me why I journaled if I never even went back and re-read them, I remembered something that Happiness researcher Shawn Achor once spoke about. By writing something down, you are re-committing it to your memory. He was talking about it in terms of a tool he was proposing to increase your levels of happiness (recalling a positive moment in your day), but really, it applies to anything.

You lived it once, so there’s that initial memory pathway in your brain. But when you’re sitting down and writing about it, you’re effectively going back over that line, strengthening that pathway. And when you journal regularly, you create these subconscious mental notes about things, so that after a while, when something happens you can stop and go “Oh! I see a pattern now! I’ve been making the same mistake over and over!”

And that’s how you can begin to make changes.

Then if you like, you can start experimenting. You try to change one thing, write about it, make a mental note about the result, write about that. Didn’t work? Ok, try something else. And keep going like that, until one day, you realize that you’ve been making genuinely positive changes.

What if you don’t know what to write about? How do you start?

Journaling may not come naturally to you. There’s a ton of opinions out there with specific suggestions: Write three things that you appreciate about your day. Write about one person that you did something for, to make their day better. Write your goals of the day, then reflect on whether you achieved them.

If you like structure, these might work for you. But it won’t really help you get to know yourself.

I prefer to approach it in this way: At the end of your day, take 20 minutes to sit down with a notebook, and just write as if you’re talking to someone. Tell them about your day. What did you do today? What was meaningful to you about this day? Did something happen that made you laugh? Did something make you angry? Just write about anything significant that came up for you.

The cool thing about writing in a journal, is that no one is really on the other side, listening… that means no one is judging you on your thoughts or your emotional reactions, whether they are rational or irrational.

It means you can finally allow yourself to be 100% yourself. You can be 100% honest.

No holding back. No tempering your emotions for someone else’s benefit. If you want to curse, curse. If you want to allow yourself to admit that you find your boss hot, then write it.

This journal is yours, and yours alone.

You can even hide it in a secret place in your house if you’re worried about anyone in your household finding and reading it.

Start getting used to allowing yourself to let out all parts of yourself. The good AND the perceived imperfections (notice how I didn’t say “bad).

You can try the structured questions if you want. There’s great benefit to a lot of them. But if you’re just starting out, my advice is…

Just start writing, and see what comes out.