Are you feeling stuck, frustrated or even angry with a person or situation in your life? Would you like that to change… right now? I’m not kidding. It can begin to change RIGHT NOW.

Don’t believe me? Let me explain and then show you.

First, let’s talk a little bit about the Law of Attraction. You’ve heard me mention it, and you’ve probably asked yourself “What is this Law that she keeps talking about?” Let’s start by taking a few steps back and starting at the beginning.

What is the Law of Attraction?

If you’ve never heard of the Law of Attraction in any of the forms that are easily accessible (See the resource list below), let me try to explain a little bit.

You know about the Law of Gravity, right? It’s a universal Law that affects everything on this planet. It doesn’t matter if you’re a good person or a bad person, if you jump off a building, you’re still going to hit the ground and go SPLAT.

There is another universal Law that exists but that not everyone is aware of. It’s called the Law of Attraction, and it simply states that “Like attracts Like”. What this means is that you get what you put out into the world. In other words, whatever you say, do and even think and feel, comes back to you. You simply attract more things like it.

I’ll give you an example. You hate your job. Your boss is always hounding you, not supporting you, constantly checking on your work and giving you way more work than you can handle and he doesn’t seem to care. And your co-workers are mean, they’re always bickering and gossiping about this thing or that thing. They talk behind your back, and they deliberately leave you out of conversations and social activities. So, naturally, since it’s such a toxic environment, you quit. You get another job. At first, the boss is great and the people are nice. But soon, things start to get sour again. Your boss starts chastising you for being late or taking too many breaks. Your colleagues don’t say hi anymore and before you know it, you’re right back where you started.

That didn’t happen because the people at your new job started talking to the people at your old job and decided you were a terrible person and they should treat you like one. It happened because that’s what you attracted. Your emotions, your thoughts translate into your behaviour (often subconsciously), and so Law of Attraction says “Ok, here’s some more of that”.

There’s a reason why we tend to have a pattern of significant others that generally have similar personality types.

Now I know some of you may be skeptical, especially if this is the first time you hear about it. But because the Law of Attraction is a universal law, it doesn’t care whether you believe in it or not, it’s active regardless. So you might as well give it the benefit of the doubt. Let me tell you though, life is so much better when you choose to go about your day knowing that this law is working and making deliberate decisions because of it.

Being a Deliberate Creator

Now the next thing you need to know (and if you remember only one thing, it’s this), is that because the Law of Attraction is always active, this means that YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY.

So if you’re in a situation that makes you feel stuck, or frustrated, or angry, remember that you created this.

Now don’t get angry with me and start arguing why it’s not your fault and how you didn’t ask for this. I can’t hear it anyway because you’re saying it to your computer 😉

Take a deep breath. It’s ok.

Once you’ve calmed down, and you (hopefully) continue to read this, I’ll give you one thing. If you didn’t know about the Law of Attraction until now, then you get one free pass: It’s NOT really your fault. Because you didn’t know. It just means that you’ve been creating your own reality by default.

“What’re you talking about, Mel?”

So here it is. You’ve been living your life and you’ve had some good times and some bad times. Have you ever noticed that when times are good, they’re really good? And when times are bad, they’re really bad? This is because you get more of whatever you’re focused on. But because you didn’t know about the Law of Attraction, you didn’t realize that this is how it works.

I know it’s not easy to think about this and to admit to yourself that you’re the only one to blame for what’s going on in your life. But don’t think about it as placing blame, on yourself or whatever else you’re focused on. Because here’s another thing that may help:

You didn’t do anything wrong (and neither did anyone else). 

I know it may not seem that way, but nothing has gone wrong. Everything that has ever happened in your life, has served you. And the negative aspects, sometimes called contrast, have helped you most because they help you identify what it is that you don’t want in your life.

And that’s a good thing!

Because how will you know what you do want, if you don’t know what you don’t want? 

You just don’t need to stay in the negative emotion that you’re feeling about the stuff you don’t want. Once you’ve figured out “Ok, this makes me feel bad, so I know that I don’t want this”, you don’t need to keep beating the drum of why you don’t want it, why you don’t like it, and why it makes you feel bad. That’s the part that makes you feel stuck. Now here’s another secret to help you:

You may not have control over the situation you’re living right now, but you do have control of how you choose to feel about it. 

No one can make you feel bad but you. YOU decide when you’re done feeling sorry for yourself. YOU decide when you’re done feeling like a victim.YOU decide when you’re done feeling angry at someone else and when you’re done fighting with them (and yourself). ONLY YOU get to decide when you’re done feeling bad, and when you’re ready to start feeling better.

And oh by the way, that’s how you can begin to be more deliberate about what it is that you attract into your life.

Say what??

Think about it.

So, if the Law of Attraction is real (and it is), and it says that Like Attracts Like, which means that I create my own reality, how can I know if I’m attracting good things versus bad things?

You know by how you feel.

So if you choose to change the way you feel about something, you are being deliberate about how you choose to move forward.

However, if you’re in that place of feeling really bad about something, don’t try to feel awesome about it, you can’t. But you can choose an emotion that will give you a little bit of relief.

Your emotional spectrum

Humans are capable of doing something that no other species on earth can do (at least not in the same powerful way that we can) – we can feel emotions. And these emotions, the full range of them, are a gift.

You see, we have this spectrum of emotions that goes from elation to despair, and at any given moment, you can find yourself anywhere on that spectrum. However, it’s impossible to jump from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. You can’t just go from being angry at someone to loving them unconditionally. You just can’t do that. But you can move incrementally up, and over time, you can make it to joy, and love, and happiness.

Here’s an example. Say you’re feeling despair about something. Despair or Depression are the worst feelings in the world because you feel like you have no power. You feel trapped; like you have no control over anything that happens to you. Say your lover left you and took half of everything and they’re fighting to take even more away from you. What’s the next feeling up on the emotional spectrum that will help you feel a little better, that will bring you relief from despair?

Anger.

Every emotion has a purpose, and none of them are bad. Emotions tell you where you are on the spectrum, and they tell you what you’re attracting.

Your emotions are a guidance system. 

So anger has its purpose. Anger can be good, when you’re feeling despair. Anger gives you back a little of that power that you lost when you were feeling depressed. Anger gives you energy to get up and get out of despair. Anger feels really good, compared to despair, doesn’t it?

But don’t stay in Anger too long, because you’ll start to attract more things that make you angry, and soon, you’ll find yourself right back into despair.

But once you’re angry, it’s easier to let go of that feeling a little more and let yourself flow towards Frustration.

Frustration is still a negative emotion, but it feels better than anger, doesn’t it? There’s less energy in frustration, more of letting go.

But then, because you’re facing the end of your relationship, you might flow from frustration into sadness and melancholy, and that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with having a good cry because that helps you release some of the tension that you’ve kept locked up inside you for probably a long time. Sadness has it’s usefulness too. It helps start the healing process. It helps you get to forgiveness… of the other person, and of yourself.

Be careful not to stay in sadness too long though, because that, too, can lead you back into despair.

But if you find yourself back there, don’t worry about it, because now you know what to do to get out of it. Now you know that you don’t have to stay there as long as you were before.

So now you’re in sadness, and you’ve had your cry, what do you feel? Maybe you feel Resolve. Acceptance. That’s a good feeling. Maybe now you can say to yourself “It is what it is”. Now you can look at the current situation and accept that you are where you are. You might as well, because NOW is all you’ve got.

The only place to start your journey to moving up on the emotional spectrum is from where you are, now. The past doesn’t matter anymore; you can’t change it anyway. The future is important only in the way that it gives you a sense of direction with where you want to go. But NOW, is where your power resides. NOW, is where you get to make your choice.

So what do you choose? 

Well, now you know about the Law of Attraction. Now you can make a conscious, deliberate choice, and choose a good feeling emotion. Now you can choose to focus on some good feeling thoughts.

“What kind of thoughts?”, you ask.

Well, it’s easier if you start with something general. Here are some general thoughts that you can use (still in the context of the example I was using).

Nothing has gone wrong. Everything is as it should be, and it’s not as bad as it seems. I’ve still got a home to live in. I’ve still got a job that brings me money, and no matter how I feel about my job, at least I have one, and I’m getting paid enough to have a home, and food in my fridge. I’m lucky, actually, that I’m living a comfortable enough life that I can afford things like the internet connection that allows me to be reading this right now. I’ve got clothes to wear, and a reliable car that gets me to where I want to go.

And since I now know that I create my own reality, I understand that my ex-partner created his (or her) own reality too. And s/he isn’t a bad person. S/he’s just doing what s/he believes s/he needs to do to be happy. And whether I agree with that or not doesn’t matter because I don’t create his/her reality, I can only create my own. We’re all on our own journey. 

I’m a good person. I have good values and there are a lot of really positive things that I can offer to the world. And maybe what happened was that we both forgot, for a while, that there are all these great things about us. But it’s ok because now I know. Now I remember. And now I can begin to focus on me, and on finding my own happiness. I can focus on remembering the things that make me happy. I’m really fortunate that I can do that. And now I know that what anyone else thinks about me doesn’t matter, because they aren’t responsible for my emotions.

So if my ex is still mad at me, that’s ok. S/he will find their own way, in their own time. And I don’t need to be mad at them anymore because this feeling of anger is no longer serving me. Now I can choose to start feeling better. Now I can choose to focus on the things that are going well in my life and let the negative stuff with my ex just slowly lose momentum as I continue to focus on thoughts and things that make me feel good. 

See how that stayed relatively general? Can you tell that there are a couple of places where I could have veered off and gone in another direction? I got a little more specific in a couple of places but didn’t go into greater detail.

Remember that when you’re doing this exercise, more specific thoughts will cause the momentum of energy that rides on the emotions that you feel to go faster. So as long as the thoughts that you are following make you feel good, then go ahead and follow them to more good feeling thoughts. But if you arrive at a thought that feels a little “off”, then make the conscious choice to not follow it and stay with the general thoughts that feel better. This will take practice.

All of this probably seems like a lot of information. And you might feel overwhelmed, especially if it’s your first time hearing about the Law of Attraction. Don’t worry too much about it. If this all resonates within you, you will be attracted to other resources with more information. Each piece will provide either more details, or the same information but presented in a different way that helps you grasp it better.

If you want to begin to apply the Law of Attraction, it takes practice. A lot of practice. But this is what being a deliberate creator is all about. You have to always make that choice.

And don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of days where things won’t go your way. That’s ok. You didn’t learn to walk in an hour. You crawled a lot, and you fell a lot. But you kept at it, and eventually you got the hang of it.

Also, as you move forward from now on, don’t be so hard on yourself.

When you realize things didn’t go well and you had a crappy day, just tell yourself “Tomorrow is another day”. You can try again tomorrow, because each day is a new chance to start over, and begin again to apply the knowledge that you’ve learned here.

So now that you know all this, now that you know about the Law of Attraction, have fun with it. Run your own little experiments, and find out what happens when you do this or that. Teach yourself how the Law works for you.

And know that if you’re struggling with something, or you feel like you’re missing a piece of the puzzle,

I am here for you. 

Reach out to me, and let’s have a conversation. I will always be here to help you find clarity. No question will ever be off limits. Everything you say to me in confidence will remain that way (though I encourage you to write in the comments below so others can benefit from your questions and input). All I want, is to help you find your way to your own version of happiness. Whatever that may be.

Much Love,

– Mel

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Resources

The Secret – Both the movie and the book are wonderful but I suggest the movie which I found much more powerful.

What the Bleep Do We Know – If you don’t like the Secret, you may prefer this movie instead. It explains the LOA from a scientific perspective.

Ask and It Is Given – Book by Esther and Jerry Hicks (This is a good introduction to the LOA and to Abraham, which I often speak about on this blog)